The weekend started off badly for me, when I was hit by a random wave of deep sadness. I dreamed about my grandparents' house Friday morning, and felt like crying pretty much all day. After work I tried to cheer myself up with a teeny bit of shopping, but ended up crying over the racks at one of my favorite discount haunts. This was scary for the other shoppers, so I took myself home for an honest-to-goodness weep. I perked up later in the evening, after a couple of drinks and some cute little steak sandwiches with Gemini.

Saturday I helped Cat move everything back into her now-renovated kitchen, and Gemini went sky-diving. He did, I swear. He does things like that. He's all sporty, you know. That night we went to a housewarming party at the home of a person who doesn't seem to like me much. I barely know her, but somehow that's the impression I have. It was a small party, and we were awfully surprised to run into Gemini's most recent ex-girlfriend, so . . . yes, ick. Also, she is approximately half my size, thank you, yes, I am bloated and felt like a big ol' blob. I don't know exactly what happened between Gemini and this woman but whatever it was, it causes him to fall into a terribly ill humor whenever he sees her or thinks of her.

Did I mention, with respect to this party, "ick"?

But, hah, I was very gracious. There, in a room full of people I don't really know and with whom I don't seem to have anything in common, faced with a petite little twig of a woman who is my beau's ex, I pretended like nothing was amiss. It was one of those things.

It was like that all weekend. I looked at my friend's beautiful kitchen and felt thrilled for her and also terribly jealous. Today I listened to my child say, "Mama. Mama? MAMA!" one hundred million times and felt desperately annoyed and also overwhelmed by his wonderfulness. Saturday night I peered at this ex-girlfriend and had a dozen awkward, halting conversations with people who clearly didn't get me AT ALL. I felt ancient and overgrown, but still decided that I'm probably okay in most ways most of the time. Mostly.

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