Oh look, I�m back at the office. Sigh.

I was a very mean mom this morning. J has a field trip today, and it�s customary for the kids to take along snacks for the bus ride. Because we were running extremely late and I hated the idea of stopping at the convenience store for junky, sugary stuff, I made him take a container of red grapes. Poor J! He�ll be the only kid on the bus with lame-o fruit for a bus snack.

I was also an irrational, pre-menstrual woman this morning. Unable to locate a pair of jeans for J to wear, I called up J�s dad and read him the riot act for hoarding J�s clothes, etc. over at his apartment. Eek, not too nice.

And this afternoon a Senior Managing Director talked to me about my unproductive tendency to look for ways to blame myself for each and every thing that goes wrong. Channel that energy, instead, into identifying weaknesses in the system and helping us find ways to correct those weaknesses, he said, or I�ll fire you. Ha-ha. He reminded me that I�m getting well-deserved praise even from outside the organization, so I should just stop beating myself up and remember that I'm doing a great job.

I needed that little boost, I really did, especially after everything that happened today. In a nutshell, someone made a mistake that I failed to catch and today I dealt with the fallout. Everything is fine now, but there was a lot of hubbub and people were inconvenienced. It�s true that I�m not the only one who failed to catch the mistake, but I still feel awful. I don�t want these manager relationships to be damaged on my watch; I don�t want operations to drop the ball at crucial moments like these.

I feel slightly crazed right now, slightly fried. I don�t remember the last time I was so wrapped up in work. I could really use a trashy magazine and a hot bath.

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