Well, I did have the manicure and pedicure. And then I had the haircut and the eyebrow waxing. And then I bought a few things at the Nars counter and two pairs of silver earrings and a nightshirt, and then I found a pair of perfect black cropped pants. And then I had a nap.

I worked late Friday night, feeling sort of depressed about having no where else to be. Saturday was all about treating myself, and Saturday night I, uh, went to a street festival with Gemini. He stayed over and we spent the day together, doing some shopping and having lunch until it was time to pick up J.

Yes, with Gemini. I know how it looks, but rest assured that I have no illusions or expectations this time. I'm not interested in meeting anyone new; I need a rest from the awfulness of meeting and dating new men. Gemini is familiar, and we care for each other, and it's very comforting to sleep next to him. He feels the same way and is having just as hard a time figuring things out, so we decided we could just be there for each other, to provide each other some comfort and company. It's affectionate, but there's no big affair, no profession of love, no boyfriend-girlfriend weirdness; there's just us enjoying ourselves and helping each other along.

It could easily turn out badly, but then most relationships do, so what's the difference? The girls at work are concerned that it will keep me from moving forward. I see their point, but "moving forward"? What, to the next man who will seem perfectly lovely until he dumps me? To the next man who will disappear without a trace? This is forward? Then let me just stay where I am.

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