I made dinner for Mark last night. I served my standard dishes: roast beef, roasted potatoes with fresh thyme and lots of garlic, orange-glazed carrots, and big fat strawberries for dessert. I made haroset and set out some matzah, too. He brought a bottle of wine. I was very nervous. I�m always nervous when someone comes over, plus it was our first date with no distractions (in the form of a restaurant or performance). But it was fine. No, actually it was a lot better than fine. We put on some music, drank some wine, ate, and talked. We put on some more music, got cozy on the couch, and kissed for a while. It was nice to be alone with him. Our comfort level is now way, way up.

I�m still feeling wary, though. I don�t think I have ever proceeded this cautiously. I felt a little flutter of panic when he kissed my forehead and said, �This is so nice, I hate to leave. Maybe I�ll just take you home with me. Want to be a suburban girl?� Things like that�-especially when they are said so early in the relationship--remind me of Gemini.

It was bad enough that Gemini played the pursue-obtain-discard game with me; even worse was that I was gullible enough to believe all the nice things he said in the beginning. Now I am trying to savor the nice moments (and there are many of them) with Mark without really becoming attached to them. At this point, I do not even allow myself to believe him when he mentions doing something fun together this weekend. I will believe it when I see it is my motto.

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