I had a dream last night, for the first time in weeks and weeks. In my dream I was on an express bus. It was a route that doesn�t exist in real life, at least not here in Chicago, and on the bus there were attendants selling drinks. A guy sat down next to me and we started talking, and he kept trying to touch me and kiss me. By the time we reached my stop he was inviting me to go to Italy with him. I was busy and distracted, though, because I was removing the layers of a huge onion, and each layer was a different map. I kept removing the layers until I got to the map of Tuscany. That�s when I woke up.

What a strange dream. I was a little hesitant to board the bus this morning, but I needn�t have worried. The only unusual thing that happened was that I saw John Kerry�s motorcade as he returned to the airport.

Spoke with Gemini last night. I wonder how long I can go on pretending that I�m not just seeing him. Keeping up pretenses isn�t one of my talents . . . and, sadly, neither is attracting the opposite sex.

I thought I would try online dating, but I can�t seem to write a clever/irresistible profile. I can�t think of anything to say that hasn�t already been said in pretty much every other profile. I�ve heard �don�t TELL�show!� often enough to know that a list of adjectives won�t do the trick, but beyond that I�m stumped. I don�t have quirky likes and dislikes, or funny/telling nicknames, or any real hobbies, or fascinating stories.

Ah. This might be why I�m not good at attracting the opposite sex. No sizzle.

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