So I just put on my favorite Guster CD for the first time in, I don't know, a couple of months. Immediately, my hands and feet went ice cold, my stomach turned inside-out, my throat constricted, and my eyes welled up.

Gemini ruined Guster for me! Damn it! I never should have taken him to that blasted concert. I'm so mad I could curse a blue streak right now! That is the absolute last time I go anywhere fun or share anything I like with a stupid boy. No more Club Foot, North Coast, Original Pancake House, Frances' Deli, Banana Leaf, or Chen's for anyone who hasn't been very very good to me for a very very long time. And no more Guster concerts, fireworks, Eddie Izzard shows, bookstores, outdoor film festivals, Cubs-Brewers games, or walking along the lakefront! Boys are not allowed to ruin my favorite things any more! If they want to date me, they can bloody well squire me around to things that don't interest me in the least, and that's that.

But, all my retirement accounts are up by about 30% year-over-year, so that's very good news. My precious, precious 401(k)s and IRAs . . . I love them so. They will be a great comfort to me in my old age, I'm sure.

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