A very, very difficult day. Work is endless pressure right now, due to the audit and the month-end allocations. And everything else just feels incredibly intense. Not bad, just intense. It feels like this is my designated time to learn every difficult lesson that I've managed to avoid until now, but I'm too overwhelmed by the information to make much sense of it.

I was at the Jewish school tonight for a parents' education event, and I feel intimidated by the amount of work and thought that will be required to make the kind of home I want for us and help J become the kind of person he deserves to be. There are so many things to teach him, and so many things to learn. The hardest part was looking around at all the hand-holding couples and feeling totally, conspicuously solo. I could practically feel the next fifteen years landing--BAM!!--entirely on my shoulders.

This is not to say that I think I can't manage it. But I do think I probably should try to get more sleep and make up a little chore chart for him.

I feel like I could sleep for a week.

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