The Art Institute event was good�I lucked out and sat at a table with some friendly, talkative people, and I really enjoyed the tour through the photography exhibit. I�m glad I went.

Lunch today with Gemini. This morning I started to think maybe it was not such a great idea, and I was right. I always cry after I see him, because it is so painful to be so unimportant to him. I�ve kept going back because I hoped I would get that �I am so crazy about you� vibe from him again, and it hasn�t happened. I can't even describe the bizarre, mixed-up vibe I get from him now. I can�t volunteer for this humiliation any more. So I quit.

J�s father is scheduled for a third phone interview with a prospective employer. The job is in Seattle. I told him to go after it if he really wants it.

I have absolutely nothing to lose any more. I can be alone here, or I can be alone somewhere else.

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