Today's horoscope: You have had about as much as you can take. You can't take much more. You are on the edge, at the limit, near the point of collapse. But that's like saying that you are standing on some glorious balcony, overlooking a steep ravine. It looks very much as if you could fall over the side. You are certainly very close to that great abyss, yet there is a safety railing. You are not going to jump, nor are you going to be pushed. Learn what you need to learn from this view. But don't feel afraid of what you are being shown.

Well, what am I being shown, exactly? The realist in me says I should prepare myself for a long dry spell that will involve many, many solitary pursuits. The realist has been listening to the cynic, who says I�m back where I was exactly a year ago: no social outlets, and therefore no prospects for companionship. The optimist is standing in the corner with her fingers in her ears, happily thinking about all the things she�d like to do.

Gemini called yesterday afternoon and asked again about having lunch on Valentine�s Day. �No, I have something else going on that day,� I said, and then I clamped my lips together so I wouldn�t elaborate or explain. He began to flounder in the conversational void: �Oh. (Pause.) Okay. (Pause.) Um, well, okay. (Long pause.)� We left it at �talk to you later.� He called a little while ago and I didn�t pick up the phone. I don�t know what to say to him about my realizations about him, or whether to say anything at all. For now I�m content to shut myself off from him, saying nothing and proceeding as if he didn�t really exist. He is so absorbed in his new freedom and his jam-packed social life that I suspect he may not even notice that I have disappeared from his life.

I�m taking next week off, so I�m starting to plan what to do with my days. There are loads of things on my list. I finally found instructions for fabric blinds that I think will work for my living room windows, so I�m going to spend a day making those. I need to clean my carpets, take a bunch of clothing to a tailor for alterations, wash all the comforters and pillows, and find a charitable organization that would like to take away a load of clothing, toys, and household items. Then, for fun and edification, I want to try yoga classes at a couple of different places and go to an afternoon movie. And take a nap.

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