Wednesday night I received my W-2, and all my other tax-related documents were available online from S_allie Mae and my bank, so I filed my taxes. My taxes are uncomplicated, and I want my refund. It�s a larger refund than I thought, too, thanks to a new tax credit I didn�t even know existed: the government is giving me back 10% of everything I contributed to my 401(k)! It�s nice of them, to be sure, but can we afford that? I mean, we do have to pay for that war, and all those additional unemployment benefits . . . I�m just saying. Anyway, I�m getting back $278.

Sadly, this does not mean that I get to spend $278 on furniture or airfare or anything fun like that. Rather, it means that MasterCard will receive an extra $278 from me next month. Don�t get me wrong, that�s a good thing--it�s just not terribly fun.

It SNOWED again yesterday. Yes, AGAIN. It�s also very, very, very cold. I really resent having to get out of bed when the temperature is below zero. Even J hates it and says he wants to stay in bed all day. You know it�s bad when even the preschoolers want to stay in bed all day.

I don�t think he really wants to stay in bed all day, though. I think he wants to play with his G_ameboy all day, and repeat a thousand million times, �Mom, call Gemini and ask him how we get out of the M_isty Mountains. Mom, I don�t see the giant egg. Mom, when is Gemini coming over? Can I call him now? Can I talk to him if he calls? I�ll never figure out how to kill the big pointy thing and all the little pointy things. If you kill them, the door opens, didja know that? Mom? Who are you talking to on the phone? Is that him? Ask him . . . oh. It�s not him.� And so on.

I�m trying to keep my brain from thinking too much about you-know-who, but I find my thoughts drifting in that direction sometimes. Ohhhhhhh, I bet all of this is because he knows a couple of girls he wants to date. They�re going to be cuter, more interesting, more exciting, and more fun than I am, and he�s going to stop seeing me, and I will be alone FOREVER. I�m going to spend the rest of my life compiling &%$#ing SCRAPBOOKS about my son and scribbling in my diary about my FINANCES. Ohhhhhhhhhh. Last night on the bus I tried to steer my thoughts in a more positive, D_eepak- Chopra-like direction (Every end is a beginning, the possibilities are infinite, blah blah blah) but all that did was make me cry.

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