I was SO looking forward to my pizza night, and it is awful. I came home from work and called Gemini to see how he was, because he didn't call me all day and that's relatively unusual. He was getting ready to go out, and he sort of gave me the brush-off with a hard little edge in his voice.

After I hung up, I thought, Wait a sec, I'm a little ticked off about his phone attitude lately. Whenever I call him, he sounds like he's really f&*%$ing inconvenienced by my phone call and can't wait to get off the phone. I hate that, it hurts my feelings. Hmph. So I phoned back and said as much.

I don't even know what happened next. I was feeling hurt and rejected, and I was crying, and he was defensive, and nothing made any sense.

This is why I hesitate to speak up when something is bothering me. The clear message, every time, is: Honey, you are not allowed to be bothered by anything I do. I am allowed to leer at the cheerleaders in front of you and my friends at the game, spend three nights a week at the home of a female friend and fit in time with you only when I'm not providing transportation for her, talk to you on the phone only when it's my idea, and shut myself in your bedroom to take private phone calls from other potential romantic interests . . . and you are not entitled to be even the tiniest bit bothered by ANY of it.

Yeah, I think we can all agree that I have a lot of nerve, having feelings and all.

And? He's been reading my diary, and never mentioned it. His rationale for not mentioning it? I never asked. Now, that is certainly true enough . . . I did not add "Ask Gemini if he has located my diary yet" to my daily task list.

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