Yesterday morning a guy on my bus picked a fight with the bus driver. Listening to them argue sent my blood pressure through the roof and made me feel like crying, but it stands to reason that I�m not the only one who feels really, really cranky during the morning commute. The bus was overheated, and very crowded, and everyone was layered like mad on account of the sub-zero temperature. The worst part was when I needed to get off the bus and Arguing Guy wouldn�t step aside to let me get to the door. I didn�t know what to do; I just kept saying, �Excuse me . . . excuse me please . . .� and he remained planted directly in front of the door, blocking my way. Finally I had to just muscle my way around him, and then I really felt like crying. I�m a delicate flower, or something.

I have a minor snag: the administrator for my dependent care FSA is supposed to pay out claims on Tuesdays, but even though we were paid on the 15th they somehow didn�t receive the deposits in time to cut a check for my claim this week. It puts me in a slight bind for the next week. J needs a haircut, we need groceries, and I invited a friend and her child to dinner Saturday night. And let us not forget my Friday-night pizza�I�m looking forward to it OBSESSIVELY. All week I�ve been eating leftovers, cereal, odds and ends from the pantry, and random-stuff-I-froze-months-ago-and-promptly-forgot. The promise of that pizza is the light at the end of this tunnel!

So, yeah, my budget. I�m obsessed. That spreadsheet is pretty much the only aspect of my life I can control. I keep tinkering with the numbers. I open up the spreadsheet and stare at the numbers. I shave off five dollars here, two dollars there, trying to keep it lean without being completely unrealistic. About 70% of my gross income goes to fixed monthly expenses: preschool tuition, taxes, reimbursement to J�s father, insurance (health and life for J and me, and my renter�s policy), 401(k), utilities, student loan payment, transit pass, health club dues, and charity. The remaining 30% pays for everything else: clothing, paying off the credit card, entertainment, food and other household needs, gifts, cab fare, haircuts and other personal expenses, and short-term savings.

The really good thing about drawing up this budget, even though it hurts to see it all in black and white, is that it has helped me set some goals. I need to pay off the credit card (that�s about $1500) as quickly as possible (probably with my bonus), and that will create significant breathing room. Then I can increase my payments on my student loan and focus on building up my short-term savings. I need to increase my 401(k) contribution. I also need to set up a college fund for J; I discovered that this can be done with an initial deposit of $25, and then I can set up a monthly transfer from my checking account�and my contributions are tax-deductible. Snazzy!

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