You know what I don�t like? I don�t like how everything is unsettled right now. J�s father has no job, we have no idea when he might find one, and it�s possible he may have to relocate to another state, but we don�t know. We don�t know where J will go to school. We don�t know whether we�ll have to move. I don�t know where I'm headed with Gemini.

All I know for sure is . . . okay, I don�t know anything for sure. This is not okay with me, but what can I do?

Gemini wants me to go out Friday night, but I�m balking. He�s going to a birthday party at a club. It will be expensive, and loud, and trendy, and it�s in a desolate part of town, and I have nothing to wear. Also, the party will run into the wee hours, and I have to pick up J at his father�s by nine o�clock Saturday morning. I think I�ll pass in favor of being at home alone with a pizza and a new magazine. It actually sounds very nice to me, and will also allow Gemini to ogle all the hot girls without my having to watch. Seriously.

And, the bottom line is that I do not have room in my budget this month for a club night. I�ve spent a lot of time working out a very detailed budget, and now I know exactly how much I can spend on any given item or activity. The double-whammy of adding J to my health insurance plan and losing a third of my child support is, as I anticipated, turning out to be painful. But it�s okay. I�m thinking of it as a challenge, a new project, a chance to improve my self-discipline. And I think there will be the added bonus of renewing my appreciation of small treats�like a night alone on my sofa with a pizza and a new magazine.

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