We have narrowed down our school choices. We�re applying to one Jewish school (the one where they keep saying they want to make a Jewish education affordable for everyone) and entering three magnet school lotteries. As a back-up, we located a decent neighborhood school.

I�m terrified about sending my little J to elementary school. He�s just a baby! And people keep saying he can take the bus, which is the most frightening idea I�ve heard in a long time. This makes me nauseous. (But Gemini very kindly offered to attach a tracking device to him, and monitor his whereabouts on his office computer. I haven�t ruled it out yet.)

I would love for him to attend the Jewish school, which just opened and only has about five students right now. They opened with just a kindergarten, and next year they�ll add a first grade. I think it would be a very good thing for all of us. If they accept us and offer us enough financial aid, I�ll be ecstatic. I don�t want to get my hopes up, though, because the annual tuition is $13,000. Right now I�m paying a little more than $8,000 annually for the Montessori preschool, and I think I could continue to pay about that much if we move to a less expensive apartment and J�s father finds a job soon. If the school were to make up the difference in financial aid, we would be okay. My only concern is that I�ll also have to pay for an after-school program and a summer program.

We will probably move to the neighborhood of whichever school J will attend, and now Gemini is suddenly very keen on the idea of us moving in together. He�s coming over tonight and wants us to spend the evening looking at rental listings. (And the I_kea catalog. I�m telling you, he�s into this idea in a Very. Big. Way.) I have my doubts about this (no surprise there) and don�t want to think about it right now. This is premature AT BEST. But because I am a cheap and terrible person, I can�t stop thinking that if there were two of us paying the rent we could get a much nicer place.

I am waiting to see what kind of opportunity will present itself next. Maybe it will be a move to California or Washington, or maybe it will be something else that�s equally thrilling and scary. Maybe J will get to go to that lovely little school. Maybe I�ll find a career that I adore. Maybe I�ll find something that will sustain me.

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