I hope everyone is having a lovely day, whether you're celebrating Christmas or not.

Tuesday I went to the happy hour (after seeing my therapist and then spending an hour at the gym) with Gemini. There were some fun people there, and we ate and drank and played cards. (Well, I didn't play--they were dealing me in and Gemini was playing my hands for me, because I have a mental block when it comes to cards. Explain all you like, it will never make any sense to me, and that's that.) There was the most adorable firefighter at our table. He gave me a little shoulder massage with what must be the strongest hands EVER. I was ever so happy I had glammed myself up with a little eyeliner and sparkly lip gloss.

Gemini was introducing me to people as his "girlfriend" and "better half." Someone asked him how we met, and he told the whole story--July 3rd, fireworks at N_avy Pier, how we became friends, how we eventually started dating. Everyone thought that was a great story, and I saw him looking at me very solemnly.

Later, he said telling that story made him realize how much he liked me and was attracted to me from the very beginning. He also said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else. To which I replied, "Okay, but you can't keep changing your mind." He said he won't change his mind; he'll feel the same way tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and so on.

Every time I think about that particular conversation, I have the same thought: "I've heard THAT before." It should have been such a lovely moment, hearing someone say that he wants only me. I just couldn't silence my cynical mind enough to enjoy it. Words like those slip off the tongue far too easily (especially when one is feeling amorous and really wants to sleep over). His words haven't caused me to feel happier or more secure. My gut is still telling me to stand back and see what he does.

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