Man, the freaking CTA ruined my whole plan for the day! I waited twenty minutes for a bus before the supervisor at my corner commandeered an empty 146 and (magically!) turned it into a 136 for us. But then instead of taking the Outer Drive, the driver went local to B_elmont. We sat in traffic for at least thirty minutes on the Inner Drive, no exaggeration. I was an hour late to work, and I can�t stay late because J�s father is out of town, so no lunch-hour workout for me today. I really need that workout, too. I really, really do. Damn! Damn, damn, damn!

But, hee, I just got an e-mail from Gemini that says, �I love you.� So that helps.

He�s coming over tomorrow night to make empanadas with me. Yum. And this weekend we�re going dancing, and down to M_ichigan Avenue to see everything light up for the holidays. And I have to shop for something to wear on New Year�s Eve, so I have been following the digs �What to Wear� thread religiously.

I�ve never shopped for fancy clothes before (with the exception of my wedding dress, almost twenty years ago, ahem) so I�m a little nervous about being able to find the right thing. I don�t even really know what to look for . . . all I know is that I want something terribly flattering, reasonably comfortable, not too bare, and not too pricey. I need shoes, too, and here I�m really at a loss. High heels (though I love them for many reasons) cause me to tower over Gemini, which makes me feel generally gargantuan and which I don�t like when we�re dancing. So . . . non-dowdy low heels. I might need to block out a couple of days for this shopping expedition.

Here�s the discombobulating part of a conversation I had yesterday with Gemini:

Gemini: �Where are you planning to move?�

Schmance: �Depends on where J goes to school. That�s my next project �- magnet school applications.�

G: �Which magnet schools?�

S: �Probably La_Salle, not sure which others. I�d love D_ecatur, but it�s in W_est R_ogers Park. I don�t want to go up there.�

G: �No, you don�t, I agree. But it is closer to ME!�

S: �Well, I think YOU should move closer to ME.�

G: �Oh yeah? How close?�

S [totally flustered]: �Uhhhh, uh, I don�t know! Down the hall? I mean, BLOCK? Er, street? Uh, I don�t know!�

G: �We�ll work that out.�

S: �Um, great, okay, so about Thanksgiving . . .�

Dude, I know him and I know that was a not-so-veiled reference to moving in together. I know it has occurred to him. And do you know why I was so flustered? Because it has occurred to me, too. I don�t think about it all the time, or even regularly, but I have thought about it. I know! It�s crazy! It�s way too early to be thinking about that. Way. Too. EARLY. The next step is for him to meet J, which we�ve agreed will happen only after we�ve let our relationship �settle in� a bit more. After that, we�ll see how the three of us do together. And then we'll just see.

Of course, thinking about it right now doesn�t mean I would actually do it right now. So can�t I allow myself the pleasure of a little daydreaming as long as I don�t let it cloud my decision-making? Please? For now? I promise I will only think about it as I�m falling asleep or waking up next to him.

I know it's silly.

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