The weekend is looming--Gemini, his alumni friends, and me. In Indiana. For a football game. Staying in someone's apartment for two nights. I don't remember now why this seemed a good idea? Well, there's nothing I can do now except relax and unchain my inner, uh, football fan and beer drinker.

I didn't call Gemini "Social Guy" for nothing--that's his public persona. In a group, he's outgoing and outspoken. He's in the middle of the action, always. I'm quite different--much more an observer than a participant, uncomfortable with calling attention to myself, connecting with people individually instead of jumping into the fray. Even when I get really comfortable in a group, I'm still relatively reserved.

We discussed all of this today, and we understand each other perfectly. There's a part of me that would like to let him draw me into the action with him, to drop my inhibitions just a little, to live a little less timidly. Even if that doesn't happen immediately or in a big way, I have this great opportunity to get comfortable with being myself on the outskirts while he's being himself at the center.

I like and trust this man. He knows exactly who I am, because he has seen me in every mood and temper, and it's a simple fact that he's quite happy with who I am. I've lost track of how many times he has said, "I love being with you" and "I'm so happy we're together." He curls up with me in his arms and is completely relaxed. So why shouldn't I be happy and relaxed with me too?

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