It's a double-update day, I guess.

I'm so tired! This cold is still kicking my arse. I'm trying to choke down a big glass of water because I'm dehydrated, but the water tastes terrible. Nothing tastes good, not juice or seltzer or even my beloved ginger ale. Blech.

Late last night I started to feel pretty awful--nauseated, coughing a lot, and--freakish as this sounds--having terrible pain where my right ovary is. (Still don't know what the ovary business is all about.) Social Guy was still here, and he was concerned about me. Suddenly I started to feel totally sweaty and panicked--almost claustrophobic, like I was coming out of my skin. I kept thinking, He has to leave, I don't want him here now, I'm sick and I want to be alone. I went into the bathroom and threw up and cried, and then I curled up on the bed. He was being so nice and so caring that I didn't have the heart to ask him to leave. And then I realized what must be happening: I don't remember the last time anyone paid attention when I was sick. I'm not used to it, and it was freaking me out. So I decided to close my eyes and calm down. And I did. I asked him to just please not touch me, and he didn't. He was just there with me. I fell asleep and slept all night. I woke up feeling a lot better, next to this person who seems to want to be nice to me all the time.

Thinking about it now, I'm getting all choked up again. I would like to let myself get used to being treated well. It's just a lot harder than it seems.

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