You know what's great about you guys? Unlike so many other people in my life, you don't say things that might not be true but are the easiest things to say. Right now I'm getting a lot of "The right man is out there, you'll find him" and "Someone better will come along, you'll see." I'm ticking people off right and left by looking them squarely in the eye and replying, "You don't know that. I know it's easy to say, but you don't know." I am not the cooperative dumpee who weeps quietly into her pillow when everyone else is asleep. I am the cynical, pessimistic dumpee who won't be easily consoled.

I'm all for positive spin whenever it's appropriate, but I don't like these pat phrases that people toss off so casually. There are ways to support and console an upset person without encouraging her to expect lovely things that may never materialize, and the notes people have left me here are very cool examples.

So, yeah, as you might have guessed, the weekend has been . . . challenging. Today I took J downtown to shop for a new winter coat. By the time we reached the third store, I wanted to disappear into a rack of flannel pajama sets. We finally found the blasted coat at the fourth store, ate lunch, and hopped a bus bound for the zoo. Seals, reptiles, waterfowl . . . my patience drained away as J, having skipped the crucial afternoon nap, became more defiant by the moment. We went to the playground for a bit, stopped at the coffee store for a bag of Italian roast (and ran into J's father there, with his girlfriend), and finally hit the new ice-cream shop for hot fudge sundaes. It's not yet five o'clock, but to heck with waiting: I need a glass of shiraz. Having already survived four clothing stores, four bus rides, one restaurant, one ice cream shop, one coffee shop, one bookstore, and ten hours of nonstop J-chatter, I think I can summon up the resources to postpone my nightly cry until he's tucked away in bed.

It will get easier. I don't believe very many things at the moment, but that's one of them.

Ha, here's something funny that I just realized this very moment: I bought new sunglasses today, and the lenses have a very slight pink tinge. Yeah. I bought rose-colored glasses. What the hell.

{ prev & next }