The brisket is trimmed and ready for the crockpot. I made the pate, baked the cake, did the laundry, and bought the wine and olives. I AM ON TASK!!!!

I even got J to help me with the cake. That kid can crack an egg, yo. It's soooooo cute when he stands on his little step-stool to help me cook. And this evening I saw him standing in front of the mirror, pointing to himself with his thumbs and saying, "THIS guy!!!!!" Unbearably cute.

Tomorrow will be jam-packed, but I'm thinking of stopping at the chair massage place anyway. I need it. NEED IT, I tell you!

I think I can manage tomorrow night. I just had so many awful moments today that I really doubted my ability to pull myself together and act normal. Right now the pressure is enormous and closing in on me in every part of my life--at work, as a mother, as a friend, as a woman who just started dating again, and as J's father's ex. It's perfectly understandable that I feel myself starting to crack, and yet it's also totally unacceptable. I can't crack. I can't even have a cry in the loo. I have to keep going. I think I can. As long as I don't stop to think, even for a split second, how nice it would be if someone else would propel this thing for a few laps.

No one ever said it would be easy.

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