According to the T0wn & C0untry horoscope, my theme this month is �breaking free.� Breath of fresh air blowing through my life, let go of outworn dreams, take a chance on change, new career prospects, decisions looming, domestic changes, property transactions, reassess long-term associations, redefine my aims, confidence rising, step away from unrewarding partnerships . . . golly. I�m going to need more sleep and a good multivitamin, I think.

I rearranged everything on my desk at work . . . surely that counts for �take a chance on change�? I think my new budget, all laid out in a complicated spreadsheet, definitely meets the �redefine my aims� bit.

Let go of outworn dreams? My first thought was, �I don�t have any dreams.� I have my little-house-with-backyard dream, but that�s so new that it couldn�t possibly be outworn already. Aside from that . . . dreams? I don�t think I�ve had a real dream since adolescence. When I look at people who have dreams that motivate them, I feel a kind of awe. They want something and have decided that they�re going to get it, whatever it is. I just admire people who have a dream, set their goals accordingly, and then pursue like crazy.

My ability to get some of the things I want is limited, because other people will have to cooperate. I can�t, for example, bring the right man into my life by sheer force of will. Likewise, I can�t leave Chicago unless J�s father is willing and able to relocate. I�m not exactly giving up on these things; it�s just that they seem extremely unlikely. Anyway, I�m not even sure those desires count as dreams. They aren�t lofty enough, or something. I must have some dreams locked away inside me somewhere, but right now I�m not ready to peek at them. I feel like they might taunt me mercilessly, and stick out their tongues at me and stuff.

Aaaaaaanyway . . . in other news, the Accounting Kids are cracking me up. I recall, very vaguely, what it was like to be 22 and know everything. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Here's something that is NOT cracking me up. Last night I took J out for dinner, then we stopped at the Gap, and then we picked up a few things at the grocery store. J's father called my mobile while we were pondering the ice cream sandwiches, but I couldn't get a signal back there in the freezer section.

We hopped in a cab to go home, and my mobile rang again, and when I answered the first thing I heard was J's father screaming, "What the &^%$#@ is wrong with you! I couldn't reach you--" and then I hung up because it is my personal policy to hang up when people yell at me on the phone. When we got home I called him on the land line and got an earful about how he was about to rush to my house to see if we were all right, and he was so worried, I could have been hit by a bus, and why didn't I check in to let him know where we were, blah blah blah.

I guess I didn't realize I was on PROBATION and have a CURFEW and must report all my movements at all time. Fie, I say, fie on that. When J is with me, I believe I am allowed to cart him around as I see fit WITHOUT checking in with his father.

Look at all those caps up there! THAT'S how much that pissed me off. Fie.

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