Earlier today I got all excited about Shavuot and decided to do it right by taking next Friday off to be in the synagogue like I'm supposed to be. (Yeah, I was reading the Chabad website again.) So I e-mailed my boss and her assistant to say, "I'm taking a personal day next Friday for Shavuot."

Then I went on my way, thinking about the significance of Shavuot and about the Book of Ruth, and of course about cheesecake and other dairy delights. I got chills thinking about being in the synagogue to hear the Ten Commandments being read, and about what it was like to be given the Torah at Sinai, and so on, all geeky like that.

Then my boss's assistant asked me what Shavuot is, and I explained some of the significance of the festival and how it's observed. This is the conversation that followed:

"So, do you have the same Ten Commandments that we do, or are they different?"

"They're the same. From the same Bible."

"Wait, I thought you have that Torah-thing."

"Oh, people refer to the Jewish Bible as the Torah."

"Whaaaaaaaat? I never heard anybody say that the Torah is the Bible!!"

"Usually when you hear someone say 'Torah' that's what it means."

"Oh oh oh, you mean the Old Testament."

"Well, for you it's the Old Testament. For us, it's the Bible."

It seemed like a poor idea to try to explain that we actually have the written Torah, or Tanakh, and oral Torah. It's not like she has a sincere interest in any of this; her interest is the "you-people-have-the-oddest-customs" sort. She's the same woman, incidentally, who once said to me, "Well, when Jesus comes back you'll all be Christians anyway."

Ah. Okay then.

My head hurts a little, I don't know why.

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