I've been buzzing in a very unpleasant way for the last couple of days. Back when I still smoked I would feel kind of buzzy if I didn't get my fix, and I feel that way now.

I can chalk it up to a few things:

-- Five suicide bombings in Israel. I've known all along that suicide bombers don't want an independent Palestinian state that exists side-by-side with Israel; what they want is to destroy Israel. So it stands to reason that when Ariel Sharon sits down with Mahmoud Abbas, things get ugly. I guess I was letting myself hope for better.

-- Level Orange.

-- I've been trying to wheedle our managers to return audit confirmations for almost three months now, and there's no end in sight. I almost can't bear the thought of making one more phone call, composing one more e-mail, or sending one more fax to beg someone to just please return the audit confirmation. But today . . . I have to follow up with 29 managers. Not one of them has returned the damn form.

-- I have a headache every day!

-- My wardrobe is in a very sorry state.

-- I need to lose 40 pounds and I am loathe to give up the one physical pleasure in my life: food that is high in fat. Chubby Hubby ice cream, french fries, potato chips with onion dip, any sort of cheesey Italian or Mexican food, full-fat artisanal cheeses, whole milk in my morning coffee, challah toast with real butter . . . mmmmmmmm. I am a strong, determined person who has done many difficult things, but this is a real blow. No smoking, no sex, AND no quesadillas? What's left for me to enjoy? Yoga? Please.

This concludes today's rant.

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