Oh, good, it's time for a Thomas the Tank Engine video. I was wondering when we would ever get to watch another one. I mean, it's been at least, I dunno, 20 seconds since the last one.

Thomas, in case you don't know this, is a Really Useful Engine. Because he is so useful, Sir Topham Hatt gave him two passenger cars--Annie and Clarabel. His own little train harem, if you please. Krrrrrrrazy!

It makes me wonder . . . if everyone saw how really useful I am in my many capacities, what might they give me?

I did actually get something just for being a nice person. Last night I went for a facial, and they offered me a free manicure. The manicurist put her arm around me and said, "I haff cancellation, so I say to Mila, I vant to do somesing for [Schmance]. Because I see she ees nice person! So nice, alvays ven I see you!" Very sweet, those two. I got a little choked up, I must say.

So here I am: nails manicured, pores de-gunked, eyebrows shaped. I guess my thighs didn't get the memo about spiffing up, though. Slackers.

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