For the headline on my online personal ad, the following was suggested to me:

"Climb aboard the S.S. Sassy, sailor! I'm a Sssssscorpio and I love ssssssspicy food!"

Well, I'm not a Scorpio. Nor am I particularly sassy. Nor do I want to invite anyone to "climb aboard." But other than that it's great headline, don't ya think?

The other suggestion involved variations on the word "zazzle," which we saw on a package of "Zazzle Brights" highlighters. Zazzlicious. Zazzarific. Super-zazzy. I will zazzle you. Zazzling bright.

People, I'm not up to this. My zazzle quotient is so low as to be totally unnoticeable, and I'm afraid zazzle is exactly what's required to make up for being 35 and having a small child.

What makes a woman zazzlicious? Is there perhaps a kit I could order? If it involves surgery, though, count me out.

{ prev & next }