It's 9 in the morning and I'm not at work! Ahhhhhhhh.

J is still asleep. Poor lad, he was completely tuckered out last night. Really, I thought he would just fall apart from exhaustion, right there on the floor.

We went to a second seder last night, and it was really lovely. My friend Lisa (who lives in Nashville) was planning to be here with her husband and daughter, and she invited us to join them and some of their friends for this seder. A few days ago she called to say they wouldn't be able to make the trip after all, but she urged me to go to the seder anyway.

Normally, I wouldn't have gone. I'm uneasy at events where I don't know people very well. Her brother- and sister-in-law were going, and I know them, but the rest of the guests were really just acquaintances. I was on the verge of saying, "Oh, never mind," but then I remembered something: my Town & Country horoscope said not to turn down any social opportunities this month!

Yes, you read that correctly. I made a decision based on a horoscope from a glossy, upper-crust, snooty magazine. (I don't even read the magazine. I just read my horoscope every month at the newsstand.) Someone told me, about fifteen years ago, that Town & Country has the best horoscopes. That may or may not be true, but in any case it's a little ritual of mine. My feeling is that divine guidance comes in many forms.

It's only common sense that if one is invited to some lovely person's beautiful home to participate in a meaningful event with a group of smart, funny, friendly people, OF COURSE one goes (and is very happy to do so). But I find that much of the time my fears drown out my common sense. I'm afraid I won't have anything to say, or my child will misbehave, or I won't wear the right clothes, and they will hate me and curse the day they decided to include me. They'll think I'm stupid and unsightly and dull. So I usually call them up and say I can't be there, and then I kick myself all day because I'm not having any fun and I'm a social misfit.

This time, I took some encouragement from the horoscope and we went to the seder. And I had a great time. I felt perfectly normal, as if there were no reason in the world why I couldn't sit at a table and have a conversation with smart, funny, interesting people.

Go figure.

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